Tomorrow, Tomorrow.....I'll still be pissed tomorrow..."

I have recently expereinced one of my hardest episodes as a parent. A local theatre group had an audition for the play "Annie". I asked Mary if she wanted to try out. After watching the movie, she decided to give it a whirl. She had to prepare 16 bars of a Broadway song for her audition. So after getting in contact with my friend Melissa, I got her ready for the audition.

Mary has many talents. She is bright, funny, and has a wicked good memory. She is able to project well, she is sociable and generally well liked. She likes to dance and sing. Notice I said she likes to sing and dance, not that she does either well. But my friend Melissa convinced me she was not as bad as I though she was...so we were off to the audition.

Mary chose a song from "The Lion King." It was an odd choice in my opinion, but I let her pick whatever she wanted. At the audition we could watch from a back window. She was funny, and loud. We found out before she left that she had been choosen to come to the call backs the following week. She had to familiarize herself with the song "Hard Knock Life."

At this point I was very proud of Mary, but I still was not expecting her to get a part. At the call-back there were 38 girls. They learned a short dance to go with the song, and then they sang it small groups as their audition. Parents were all able to watch.

Mary was amazing. And I say this knowing that parents usually see their children in remarkably positive light. And while I know I may not be totally objective, I have readily admitted that Mary does NOT have a remarkable voice, last year I was first to point out that she was the worst player on her tball team. So I think I am more objective than most. I can say, without a doubt that Mary was by far the best girl there in her age group. She sang with emotion, learned the dance quickly and was utterly amazing. I left almost certain that she had secured a part.

Fast forward a few weeks-and you probably can already see where this story is going. mary did not get a part. One of the girls that beat her will be in the play alongside her mother that will play Grace. The other girl that beat her has already been in at least one play put on by this particular group. I considered telling Mary that the play had been cancelled, but remember I did already compliment her on her intelligence, there was no way she would believe that. I told her. She got teary-eyed. I told her if she wanted me to, I would find something else she could try out for. I felt terrible! I asked her what she wanted to do for the rest of the day and the first thing she wanted to do was play orphanage.

I was upset she didn't get the part. She would have loved it and she would have been great. But I'm more upset that she has to experience at age six that doing your best is not always good enough, and that sometimes who you know is everything. Mary is over it now, but I still am not. I have imagined writing to the director a million times and ask him how he defends his decision. But I have been around long enough to know it won't do anyone any good. And every now and then I think I am over it- and then Mary will break into another rendition of "The sun will come out tomorrow," and my heart breaks all over again.

Funny Stuff

ME: Jack sit here and watch Dora with Gracie, I'm gonna take a quick shower.
Jack: Why?
ME: Cause mommy stinks.
Jack: Did you poop in your pants mom????

P.S. Jack is finally potty trained!

Kids Day and Picture Day

I have been trying to go in and help in Mary's class once a week. Last week when I went in, her teacher was telling me about a tradition in her house called "KIDS DAY." Its similar to Mother's Day and Father's Day, but obviously its for the kdis. Now for "Kids Day" at her teachers house they announced that they were leaving that day for DisneyWorld. We started smaller than that. I told them about it, and let Mary plan the day.

Here is how it went.
1. Donuts for breakfast.
2. Get ready for Kids Museum.
3. Mary asks, "Since its kids day, can you please pretend to be Aunt Liz today?" I tell you no good deed goes unpunished!
4. Mary faces disappointment as I tell her I will be playing the part of myself ALL day!
5. Kid's Museum.
6. Drinks at McDonalds, Mary picks a redbox movie (Marmaduke).
7. Watch movie.
8. Kid's Night at Chic-Fila.
9. Movie night in bed.

All in all a pretty good day. We may do it again soon.

Then yesterday I took them to get pictures. The main goal was to get Gracie's 2nd bday pictures. But I have been around the block a few times at portrait innovations, so I got them all dressed. I was not going to be leaving without pictures of someone. It was the best picture taking outing in years! No hot flashes...and no moments of brakdown on my part!

We leave for Chicago on Friday!

Other Things I can't Post on Facebook

Here are some of the things that really bother me. Feel like I need to vent.

1. Teachers- most of you DO NOT deserve a raise! SO STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT IT! A teaching degree is easy to get, I know because I have one. You work less than 200 days a year. A large percentage of your cohorts are lazy and frankly not very good at what they do. Your job is important, I hope you do it well. But the truth is most of you do not. If you were evaluated on performance many of you would be fired. When the US starts pumping out educated, competitive students I will support your incessant cries for a raise!

2. The ability to procreate in large numbers is not a talent. If you had six kids at a time, its probably because you aren't making good decisions to begin with. I wish I had as much time to myself as Kate Gosselin.

3. When you tell me to "have a blessed day" it makes me want to punch you in the face! You are probably the same annoying indivisulas who think of those ridiculous messages on your churchs billboards like, "The Bible was the origianl text message!" Really?!?

4. I hope I am never a single mom. I imagine it is very difficult. I am not a single mom, but I still have my kids for all but maybe 1-2 of their waking hours. My husband is out of town all the time. And I have my kids EVERY weekend! You lot in life is hard-but shut up and deal with it, or if your kids are such a burden- turn them over to someone who wants them!

5.Gals- no one wants to hear about how you are trying to get pregnant. Some things are not meant to be shared. I don't care how often you ovulate, or what birth control method you have used in the past, or when your last period was. Tell me when you get pregnant and I will be genuinely happy for you, but until then-keep it to yourself!

Too Ashamed for a facebook post!

I, like most people, sometimes use facebook to brag about myself and my family. Yep, my kindergartner can read, MaryAlice just graduated from college, Gracie can eat your kid under the table, etc. I have embarked on something this week that I am too ashamed to post on facebook. I have finally started to try and potty train Jack...and yes he is 3.5 years old.

I think in the beginning I used his lack of understandable speech as a way to postphone it. Or I just didn't think he was ready, or we were planning a trip, or Venus and Mars may not be perfectly alligned, whatever!

There were a few things that made me realize I needed to start thinking about it.
1. I was worried if I didn't Gracie might beat him to the punch~that could not have been good for the old self-esteem.
2. I would like him to be able to go to pre-school someday.
3. He will be four in February.
4. He started announcing when he was going to poop...so he must be ready.
5. Got sick of reading of "friends" boasting on fb about how their kids are potty trained so early they simply can't find undies small enough. (Or is this just how I perceived it??)


The main thing stopping me- POTTY TRAINING IS MY MOST DREADED THING ABOUT PARENTING (thus far!) I HATE IT! I ended up stopping with Mary after the first few tries because I would just get too upset. So I basically waited until she potty trained herself. Unfortunatly, I could see Jack as an eight year old with really big diapers. SO we started Saturday. I am on day 4 today and I feel like I am on YEAR 4! We are prisoners in our own home. The days drag on as I look for signs that he is about to have an accident. I'm tired of reading what the experts say. I'm tired of talking to other parents about it. I'm tired of smelling poop. I am ready to call it quits! But alas, some progress has been made. It is just after noon on Tuesday and so far we are accident free. SO I guess I will see it through, as long as I don't have a break-down first.

Things I Never Knew About Jack

As Mary, Jack and Gracie's mom, I take pride in the fact that I know evrything about them. I know their likes and dislikes, what they will and won't eat, I can usually tell when they aren't feeling well, etc. Well, in the past two weeks I have learned two things about my blue eyed boy that totally schocked me!

#1 Jack needed glasses.

He never ran into things or fell over things. I didn't think he sat unusually close to the tv. But after two tries we were able to have a doctor examine his eyes, and lo and behold he is near-sighted. We got him glasses. Today was day 3 in glasses, and our second trip back to Walmart to have them re-adjusted. It was also on this trip that we invested in a strap to keep his glasses on. Sorry Jack!

#2 Jack is a "basket dipper"

You might be wondering-what the *&% is a "basket dipper?" I was wondering the same thing when Mary hurled the accusation at Jack this morning while the were both painting. The conversation went something like this...

Mary: "Jack, stop putting dirty brushes in your paint...clean it off in the water cup!"
Jack: "YaYa- worry about yourself!"
Mary: "Jack- you're a basket dipper!"
Me: "Mary what did you just say- what did you call Jack"
Mary: "My good feelings are in a basket and Jack is dipping into my basket and taking some of the good feelings out....I am a basket-filler- I try to fill people with good feelings!"

My son Jack - The four-eyed basket-dipper!

Mary's 1st week of school highlights.

Mary has officially made it through her first week of Kindergarten. There were tears in her eyes the first day but now she loves it, and only complains a little bit in the morning when I have to wake her up. Here are some highlights from her first week.

*Gracie and Lily are in her class again.
*Everyone in the class wants to be her friend. Everyone except for one girl. I asked Mary what this one girls name was and she said, "I don't know, and I don't even want to know." I asked her why she didn't like Mary , to which Mary responded, "Obviously, its because I'm so much prettier than her."
*Mary got a token taken away for not listening. Mary was adamant that she should NOT have lost a token for not listening. "Because I was talking to my friends so I didn't even hear Mrs. Dawn tell me to stop talking....so its not that I wasn't listening, I should have lost a token for talking!" DUH!
* Assie went to eat lunch with her on Friday.
* Mary was the only one who remembered Friday was show and tell day. She wowed the class by taking a volume of her animal encycopedia for show and tell....apparently everyone was very impressed!