I have recently expereinced one of my hardest episodes as a parent. A local theatre group had an audition for the play "Annie". I asked Mary if she wanted to try out. After watching the movie, she decided to give it a whirl. She had to prepare 16 bars of a Broadway song for her audition. So after getting in contact with my friend Melissa, I got her ready for the audition.
Mary has many talents. She is bright, funny, and has a wicked good memory. She is able to project well, she is sociable and generally well liked. She likes to dance and sing. Notice I said she likes to sing and dance, not that she does either well. But my friend Melissa convinced me she was not as bad as I though she was...so we were off to the audition.
Mary chose a song from "The Lion King." It was an odd choice in my opinion, but I let her pick whatever she wanted. At the audition we could watch from a back window. She was funny, and loud. We found out before she left that she had been choosen to come to the call backs the following week. She had to familiarize herself with the song "Hard Knock Life."
At this point I was very proud of Mary, but I still was not expecting her to get a part. At the call-back there were 38 girls. They learned a short dance to go with the song, and then they sang it small groups as their audition. Parents were all able to watch.
Mary was amazing. And I say this knowing that parents usually see their children in remarkably positive light. And while I know I may not be totally objective, I have readily admitted that Mary does NOT have a remarkable voice, last year I was first to point out that she was the worst player on her tball team. So I think I am more objective than most. I can say, without a doubt that Mary was by far the best girl there in her age group. She sang with emotion, learned the dance quickly and was utterly amazing. I left almost certain that she had secured a part.
Fast forward a few weeks-and you probably can already see where this story is going. mary did not get a part. One of the girls that beat her will be in the play alongside her mother that will play Grace. The other girl that beat her has already been in at least one play put on by this particular group. I considered telling Mary that the play had been cancelled, but remember I did already compliment her on her intelligence, there was no way she would believe that. I told her. She got teary-eyed. I told her if she wanted me to, I would find something else she could try out for. I felt terrible! I asked her what she wanted to do for the rest of the day and the first thing she wanted to do was play orphanage.
I was upset she didn't get the part. She would have loved it and she would have been great. But I'm more upset that she has to experience at age six that doing your best is not always good enough, and that sometimes who you know is everything. Mary is over it now, but I still am not. I have imagined writing to the director a million times and ask him how he defends his decision. But I have been around long enough to know it won't do anyone any good. And every now and then I think I am over it- and then Mary will break into another rendition of "The sun will come out tomorrow," and my heart breaks all over again.
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