Why I am off Facebook (for now)

So I realized last week stopped at a red light that I had a problem. Or perhaps it was in the drive in at Mc Donalds picking up my third Diet Dr Pepper of the day- I am addicted to facebook. At first I tried to justify it to myself. "Who cares??? I don't drink, do drugs, view porn, etc....so so what if I spend too much time catching up on people's lives that I usually have no contact with." It just got to be a little silly. Many people would have been able to just cut back. I however, am not one of those people. MaryAlice deactivated the account. And while I have been doing some facebook stalking with some of my fictious accounts, its not much fun with NO friends, so its been pretty easy to stay off. I will undoubtable be back and when I return I hope my 300+ "friends" will keep the following things in mind....

1. No one wants to hear that you are cleaning the bathroom, making dinner, etc. It's not out of the ordinary, inspirational or funny, so please keep it to yourself!
2. I dont want to hear how much you love your husband, kids, siblings, etc. NO SHIT! They are YOUR kids and YOUR husband- so again unless the aforementioned kids, hubby, sibling, boyfriend, etc did something spectacular keep it to yourself please (maybe get a diary).
3. Don't get political. It makes me really want to unfriend you - even when I agree with you!

And perhaps my biggest pet-peeve on facebook. For all of you are trying so hard to be grammatically correct....when you post a picture of you and someone else, the correct caption would be "Me and xyz" NOT "XYZ AND I". Basic grammar people....learn it!

Thank you and I will see you all soon!

Gracie Girl

Gracie I feel is my least talked about child. So I thought I would write about some of the things I love most about my "princess baby."

First of all, I love her name. Mary was going to be a Grace and then I swtiched it up after my mom died and I wanted to name Mary after my mom. But Grace has been my favorite girls name for years. This might explain why Gracie has so many monogrammed outfits!

I love that Gracie was a girl. It sounds a little weird but I had Gracie when I was 30, and she was my 3rd child. My mom had me when she was 30 and I was her third child. I hope Grace and I can have the same special relationship I had with my mom.

I love that Gracie always wakes up happy. When you walk into her room a huge grin comes across her face and she either greets me with "Helloooo Mom" or "Mommy" and I love it. I also love the fact that sometimes she would rather stay in her crib if someone else tries to get her out of bed!

Gracie's favorite saying is "I love you too mom" and I think its hilarious. Its almost like she doesn't even need to hear "I love you Grace" becauase she already knows you are thinking it. Grace has told me she loves me more times than Mary and Jack combined.

I love that she crosses her arms and startstalking in a really low, deep voice when she is mad. Have the time I want to flick her in teh mouth...but I usually just end up turning my head and laughing.

Grace is an absolute joy. She has been by far my easiest kid. So easy that sometimes Greg will say, "doesn't Grace just make you want to have another kid?" She isn't quite that good- but I know what he means!

Tomorrow, Tomorrow.....I'll still be pissed tomorrow..."

I have recently expereinced one of my hardest episodes as a parent. A local theatre group had an audition for the play "Annie". I asked Mary if she wanted to try out. After watching the movie, she decided to give it a whirl. She had to prepare 16 bars of a Broadway song for her audition. So after getting in contact with my friend Melissa, I got her ready for the audition.

Mary has many talents. She is bright, funny, and has a wicked good memory. She is able to project well, she is sociable and generally well liked. She likes to dance and sing. Notice I said she likes to sing and dance, not that she does either well. But my friend Melissa convinced me she was not as bad as I though she was...so we were off to the audition.

Mary chose a song from "The Lion King." It was an odd choice in my opinion, but I let her pick whatever she wanted. At the audition we could watch from a back window. She was funny, and loud. We found out before she left that she had been choosen to come to the call backs the following week. She had to familiarize herself with the song "Hard Knock Life."

At this point I was very proud of Mary, but I still was not expecting her to get a part. At the call-back there were 38 girls. They learned a short dance to go with the song, and then they sang it small groups as their audition. Parents were all able to watch.

Mary was amazing. And I say this knowing that parents usually see their children in remarkably positive light. And while I know I may not be totally objective, I have readily admitted that Mary does NOT have a remarkable voice, last year I was first to point out that she was the worst player on her tball team. So I think I am more objective than most. I can say, without a doubt that Mary was by far the best girl there in her age group. She sang with emotion, learned the dance quickly and was utterly amazing. I left almost certain that she had secured a part.

Fast forward a few weeks-and you probably can already see where this story is going. mary did not get a part. One of the girls that beat her will be in the play alongside her mother that will play Grace. The other girl that beat her has already been in at least one play put on by this particular group. I considered telling Mary that the play had been cancelled, but remember I did already compliment her on her intelligence, there was no way she would believe that. I told her. She got teary-eyed. I told her if she wanted me to, I would find something else she could try out for. I felt terrible! I asked her what she wanted to do for the rest of the day and the first thing she wanted to do was play orphanage.

I was upset she didn't get the part. She would have loved it and she would have been great. But I'm more upset that she has to experience at age six that doing your best is not always good enough, and that sometimes who you know is everything. Mary is over it now, but I still am not. I have imagined writing to the director a million times and ask him how he defends his decision. But I have been around long enough to know it won't do anyone any good. And every now and then I think I am over it- and then Mary will break into another rendition of "The sun will come out tomorrow," and my heart breaks all over again.

Funny Stuff

ME: Jack sit here and watch Dora with Gracie, I'm gonna take a quick shower.
Jack: Why?
ME: Cause mommy stinks.
Jack: Did you poop in your pants mom????

P.S. Jack is finally potty trained!

Kids Day and Picture Day

I have been trying to go in and help in Mary's class once a week. Last week when I went in, her teacher was telling me about a tradition in her house called "KIDS DAY." Its similar to Mother's Day and Father's Day, but obviously its for the kdis. Now for "Kids Day" at her teachers house they announced that they were leaving that day for DisneyWorld. We started smaller than that. I told them about it, and let Mary plan the day.

Here is how it went.
1. Donuts for breakfast.
2. Get ready for Kids Museum.
3. Mary asks, "Since its kids day, can you please pretend to be Aunt Liz today?" I tell you no good deed goes unpunished!
4. Mary faces disappointment as I tell her I will be playing the part of myself ALL day!
5. Kid's Museum.
6. Drinks at McDonalds, Mary picks a redbox movie (Marmaduke).
7. Watch movie.
8. Kid's Night at Chic-Fila.
9. Movie night in bed.

All in all a pretty good day. We may do it again soon.

Then yesterday I took them to get pictures. The main goal was to get Gracie's 2nd bday pictures. But I have been around the block a few times at portrait innovations, so I got them all dressed. I was not going to be leaving without pictures of someone. It was the best picture taking outing in years! No hot flashes...and no moments of brakdown on my part!

We leave for Chicago on Friday!

Other Things I can't Post on Facebook

Here are some of the things that really bother me. Feel like I need to vent.

1. Teachers- most of you DO NOT deserve a raise! SO STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT IT! A teaching degree is easy to get, I know because I have one. You work less than 200 days a year. A large percentage of your cohorts are lazy and frankly not very good at what they do. Your job is important, I hope you do it well. But the truth is most of you do not. If you were evaluated on performance many of you would be fired. When the US starts pumping out educated, competitive students I will support your incessant cries for a raise!

2. The ability to procreate in large numbers is not a talent. If you had six kids at a time, its probably because you aren't making good decisions to begin with. I wish I had as much time to myself as Kate Gosselin.

3. When you tell me to "have a blessed day" it makes me want to punch you in the face! You are probably the same annoying indivisulas who think of those ridiculous messages on your churchs billboards like, "The Bible was the origianl text message!" Really?!?

4. I hope I am never a single mom. I imagine it is very difficult. I am not a single mom, but I still have my kids for all but maybe 1-2 of their waking hours. My husband is out of town all the time. And I have my kids EVERY weekend! You lot in life is hard-but shut up and deal with it, or if your kids are such a burden- turn them over to someone who wants them!

5.Gals- no one wants to hear about how you are trying to get pregnant. Some things are not meant to be shared. I don't care how often you ovulate, or what birth control method you have used in the past, or when your last period was. Tell me when you get pregnant and I will be genuinely happy for you, but until then-keep it to yourself!

Too Ashamed for a facebook post!

I, like most people, sometimes use facebook to brag about myself and my family. Yep, my kindergartner can read, MaryAlice just graduated from college, Gracie can eat your kid under the table, etc. I have embarked on something this week that I am too ashamed to post on facebook. I have finally started to try and potty train Jack...and yes he is 3.5 years old.

I think in the beginning I used his lack of understandable speech as a way to postphone it. Or I just didn't think he was ready, or we were planning a trip, or Venus and Mars may not be perfectly alligned, whatever!

There were a few things that made me realize I needed to start thinking about it.
1. I was worried if I didn't Gracie might beat him to the punch~that could not have been good for the old self-esteem.
2. I would like him to be able to go to pre-school someday.
3. He will be four in February.
4. He started announcing when he was going to poop...so he must be ready.
5. Got sick of reading of "friends" boasting on fb about how their kids are potty trained so early they simply can't find undies small enough. (Or is this just how I perceived it??)


The main thing stopping me- POTTY TRAINING IS MY MOST DREADED THING ABOUT PARENTING (thus far!) I HATE IT! I ended up stopping with Mary after the first few tries because I would just get too upset. So I basically waited until she potty trained herself. Unfortunatly, I could see Jack as an eight year old with really big diapers. SO we started Saturday. I am on day 4 today and I feel like I am on YEAR 4! We are prisoners in our own home. The days drag on as I look for signs that he is about to have an accident. I'm tired of reading what the experts say. I'm tired of talking to other parents about it. I'm tired of smelling poop. I am ready to call it quits! But alas, some progress has been made. It is just after noon on Tuesday and so far we are accident free. SO I guess I will see it through, as long as I don't have a break-down first.