Tomorrow, Tomorrow.....I'll still be pissed tomorrow..."

I have recently expereinced one of my hardest episodes as a parent. A local theatre group had an audition for the play "Annie". I asked Mary if she wanted to try out. After watching the movie, she decided to give it a whirl. She had to prepare 16 bars of a Broadway song for her audition. So after getting in contact with my friend Melissa, I got her ready for the audition.

Mary has many talents. She is bright, funny, and has a wicked good memory. She is able to project well, she is sociable and generally well liked. She likes to dance and sing. Notice I said she likes to sing and dance, not that she does either well. But my friend Melissa convinced me she was not as bad as I though she was...so we were off to the audition.

Mary chose a song from "The Lion King." It was an odd choice in my opinion, but I let her pick whatever she wanted. At the audition we could watch from a back window. She was funny, and loud. We found out before she left that she had been choosen to come to the call backs the following week. She had to familiarize herself with the song "Hard Knock Life."

At this point I was very proud of Mary, but I still was not expecting her to get a part. At the call-back there were 38 girls. They learned a short dance to go with the song, and then they sang it small groups as their audition. Parents were all able to watch.

Mary was amazing. And I say this knowing that parents usually see their children in remarkably positive light. And while I know I may not be totally objective, I have readily admitted that Mary does NOT have a remarkable voice, last year I was first to point out that she was the worst player on her tball team. So I think I am more objective than most. I can say, without a doubt that Mary was by far the best girl there in her age group. She sang with emotion, learned the dance quickly and was utterly amazing. I left almost certain that she had secured a part.

Fast forward a few weeks-and you probably can already see where this story is going. mary did not get a part. One of the girls that beat her will be in the play alongside her mother that will play Grace. The other girl that beat her has already been in at least one play put on by this particular group. I considered telling Mary that the play had been cancelled, but remember I did already compliment her on her intelligence, there was no way she would believe that. I told her. She got teary-eyed. I told her if she wanted me to, I would find something else she could try out for. I felt terrible! I asked her what she wanted to do for the rest of the day and the first thing she wanted to do was play orphanage.

I was upset she didn't get the part. She would have loved it and she would have been great. But I'm more upset that she has to experience at age six that doing your best is not always good enough, and that sometimes who you know is everything. Mary is over it now, but I still am not. I have imagined writing to the director a million times and ask him how he defends his decision. But I have been around long enough to know it won't do anyone any good. And every now and then I think I am over it- and then Mary will break into another rendition of "The sun will come out tomorrow," and my heart breaks all over again.

Funny Stuff

ME: Jack sit here and watch Dora with Gracie, I'm gonna take a quick shower.
Jack: Why?
ME: Cause mommy stinks.
Jack: Did you poop in your pants mom????

P.S. Jack is finally potty trained!

Kids Day and Picture Day

I have been trying to go in and help in Mary's class once a week. Last week when I went in, her teacher was telling me about a tradition in her house called "KIDS DAY." Its similar to Mother's Day and Father's Day, but obviously its for the kdis. Now for "Kids Day" at her teachers house they announced that they were leaving that day for DisneyWorld. We started smaller than that. I told them about it, and let Mary plan the day.

Here is how it went.
1. Donuts for breakfast.
2. Get ready for Kids Museum.
3. Mary asks, "Since its kids day, can you please pretend to be Aunt Liz today?" I tell you no good deed goes unpunished!
4. Mary faces disappointment as I tell her I will be playing the part of myself ALL day!
5. Kid's Museum.
6. Drinks at McDonalds, Mary picks a redbox movie (Marmaduke).
7. Watch movie.
8. Kid's Night at Chic-Fila.
9. Movie night in bed.

All in all a pretty good day. We may do it again soon.

Then yesterday I took them to get pictures. The main goal was to get Gracie's 2nd bday pictures. But I have been around the block a few times at portrait innovations, so I got them all dressed. I was not going to be leaving without pictures of someone. It was the best picture taking outing in years! No hot flashes...and no moments of brakdown on my part!

We leave for Chicago on Friday!

Other Things I can't Post on Facebook

Here are some of the things that really bother me. Feel like I need to vent.

1. Teachers- most of you DO NOT deserve a raise! SO STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT IT! A teaching degree is easy to get, I know because I have one. You work less than 200 days a year. A large percentage of your cohorts are lazy and frankly not very good at what they do. Your job is important, I hope you do it well. But the truth is most of you do not. If you were evaluated on performance many of you would be fired. When the US starts pumping out educated, competitive students I will support your incessant cries for a raise!

2. The ability to procreate in large numbers is not a talent. If you had six kids at a time, its probably because you aren't making good decisions to begin with. I wish I had as much time to myself as Kate Gosselin.

3. When you tell me to "have a blessed day" it makes me want to punch you in the face! You are probably the same annoying indivisulas who think of those ridiculous messages on your churchs billboards like, "The Bible was the origianl text message!" Really?!?

4. I hope I am never a single mom. I imagine it is very difficult. I am not a single mom, but I still have my kids for all but maybe 1-2 of their waking hours. My husband is out of town all the time. And I have my kids EVERY weekend! You lot in life is hard-but shut up and deal with it, or if your kids are such a burden- turn them over to someone who wants them!

5.Gals- no one wants to hear about how you are trying to get pregnant. Some things are not meant to be shared. I don't care how often you ovulate, or what birth control method you have used in the past, or when your last period was. Tell me when you get pregnant and I will be genuinely happy for you, but until then-keep it to yourself!

Too Ashamed for a facebook post!

I, like most people, sometimes use facebook to brag about myself and my family. Yep, my kindergartner can read, MaryAlice just graduated from college, Gracie can eat your kid under the table, etc. I have embarked on something this week that I am too ashamed to post on facebook. I have finally started to try and potty train Jack...and yes he is 3.5 years old.

I think in the beginning I used his lack of understandable speech as a way to postphone it. Or I just didn't think he was ready, or we were planning a trip, or Venus and Mars may not be perfectly alligned, whatever!

There were a few things that made me realize I needed to start thinking about it.
1. I was worried if I didn't Gracie might beat him to the punch~that could not have been good for the old self-esteem.
2. I would like him to be able to go to pre-school someday.
3. He will be four in February.
4. He started announcing when he was going to poop...so he must be ready.
5. Got sick of reading of "friends" boasting on fb about how their kids are potty trained so early they simply can't find undies small enough. (Or is this just how I perceived it??)


The main thing stopping me- POTTY TRAINING IS MY MOST DREADED THING ABOUT PARENTING (thus far!) I HATE IT! I ended up stopping with Mary after the first few tries because I would just get too upset. So I basically waited until she potty trained herself. Unfortunatly, I could see Jack as an eight year old with really big diapers. SO we started Saturday. I am on day 4 today and I feel like I am on YEAR 4! We are prisoners in our own home. The days drag on as I look for signs that he is about to have an accident. I'm tired of reading what the experts say. I'm tired of talking to other parents about it. I'm tired of smelling poop. I am ready to call it quits! But alas, some progress has been made. It is just after noon on Tuesday and so far we are accident free. SO I guess I will see it through, as long as I don't have a break-down first.

Things I Never Knew About Jack

As Mary, Jack and Gracie's mom, I take pride in the fact that I know evrything about them. I know their likes and dislikes, what they will and won't eat, I can usually tell when they aren't feeling well, etc. Well, in the past two weeks I have learned two things about my blue eyed boy that totally schocked me!

#1 Jack needed glasses.

He never ran into things or fell over things. I didn't think he sat unusually close to the tv. But after two tries we were able to have a doctor examine his eyes, and lo and behold he is near-sighted. We got him glasses. Today was day 3 in glasses, and our second trip back to Walmart to have them re-adjusted. It was also on this trip that we invested in a strap to keep his glasses on. Sorry Jack!

#2 Jack is a "basket dipper"

You might be wondering-what the *&% is a "basket dipper?" I was wondering the same thing when Mary hurled the accusation at Jack this morning while the were both painting. The conversation went something like this...

Mary: "Jack, stop putting dirty brushes in your paint...clean it off in the water cup!"
Jack: "YaYa- worry about yourself!"
Mary: "Jack- you're a basket dipper!"
Me: "Mary what did you just say- what did you call Jack"
Mary: "My good feelings are in a basket and Jack is dipping into my basket and taking some of the good feelings out....I am a basket-filler- I try to fill people with good feelings!"

My son Jack - The four-eyed basket-dipper!

Mary's 1st week of school highlights.

Mary has officially made it through her first week of Kindergarten. There were tears in her eyes the first day but now she loves it, and only complains a little bit in the morning when I have to wake her up. Here are some highlights from her first week.

*Gracie and Lily are in her class again.
*Everyone in the class wants to be her friend. Everyone except for one girl. I asked Mary what this one girls name was and she said, "I don't know, and I don't even want to know." I asked her why she didn't like Mary , to which Mary responded, "Obviously, its because I'm so much prettier than her."
*Mary got a token taken away for not listening. Mary was adamant that she should NOT have lost a token for not listening. "Because I was talking to my friends so I didn't even hear Mrs. Dawn tell me to stop talking....so its not that I wasn't listening, I should have lost a token for talking!" DUH!
* Assie went to eat lunch with her on Friday.
* Mary was the only one who remembered Friday was show and tell day. She wowed the class by taking a volume of her animal encycopedia for show and tell....apparently everyone was very impressed!

Mary is growing up too FAST!

So last Thursday Mary had her first day of Kindergarten. She loved it, or as she put it when she bee-bopped into the car, "Mom, I had a blast!" Everyone wanted to be her friend, and she even has a new boyfriend who kissed her on the playground, although she cannot remember his name. We also found out that her two best friends, Gracie and Lily, will be in her class this year. The three of them have been in pre-school together for the last 3 yrs, so I am glad they will still be together!

Then today, Mary lost her first tooth. It almost made me cry! I remember coming across a tooth fairy pillow a while back and being tempted to get it. I talked myself out of it because I thought we were a long way from missing teeth. She looks so cute and so old with her bottom left tooth missing. And I am afraid she is going to be disappointed, as she is expecting the tooth fairy to bring her "one hundred thousand dollars!" Hopefully the 5 Sacaqawea dollars will be good enough.

I want her to stop growing up! I feel as though if we keep on at this rate, we will be shopping for training bras by Christmas!

My Mary is a Kindergartener!

I cannot believe it...Mary is starting Kindergarten tomorrow! I am happy, nervous, excited, anxious, and like Mary said last week, "thinking of Kindergarten makes my tummy hurt."

I am happy because I think she will love it. I often wonder if I should have started her last year, like many people suggested. But now, I wish she could stay home iwth me forever! She will love the social aspect of it, and I am sure she will make lots of friends. But I am nervous because she is so friendly, and loving, and a lot of kids her age are turned off by her gregariousness.

It helps to remember my Kindergarten days, and how much I loved it! I had the best Kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Sneed. Great friends, like Melissa and Renee that I am still lucky enough to consider great friends today.

I hope against hope that she gets a young, understanding teacher with lots of patience and fantastic sense of humor. We will miss you Mary and look forward to 1:50 everyday!

Straight from Mary's Mouth

Mary: Were you happy that you had a girl first?
Me: Of course, but you know we thought you would be named Gracie for a long time.
Mary: WHy did you name me Mary?
Me: After my mom died, I wanted to name you after her, so we named you after her,and your other Grandma, and Aunt Assie.
PAUSE
Mary: Oh I thought you took one look at me and said, "She is much too beautiful to be a Gracie...we shall call her Mary!"

Guess we don't have to work on boosting her self-esteem!

Middle Child Blues!

Poor Jack-Jack! As the middle child, I spend an inordinate amount of time worrying about what Jack does or does not get. If you have ever been to my house you will quickly see that Mary has a no less than 10 times the amount of professional pictures. Visitors lament that poor Jack has no professional pictures, they think it is all a product of his birth order. They have no idea how horriffic it is to take Jack to get his picture taken. The few pictures we have purchased, have been when a particularly skilled photographer has taken enough pictures to get at least one where he looks as though he is smiling, although in reality he is simply stretching his face muscles preparing for another round of screaming.

But my poor neglected middle child has had a particularly bad week! It all started last Saturday when Greg decided they "boys" would go for haircuts. Greg did not go into details, but they both came back shaggy, and I could tell Jack had been screaming. I went out to Walmart and bought some hair clippers. It would save money, and save us the embarrasment of taking Jack out for another haircut. My mom cut my dad's hair for decades, and it always looked great (maybe not great, but not bad). Greg went first, and I must say I was pretty impressed with myself. Perhaps I had missed my calling! Next up- Jack. MaryAlice held him down and I began. After taking off a huge chunk right above his forehead, I immediatley realized I had chosen the wrong guard. We finished, and in short, Jack looks like an idiot. It took a few days for me to be able to look at him without laughing. And I have no one to blame but myself!

Just when I was getting used to his hideous haircut, Jack got dealt his second blow of the week. Wednesday night Mary and I went to Kroger where Mary picked out a coloring book for herself and a packet of stickers for Jack. Thursday morning Mary somehow convinced Jack that it would be fun to cover him in his stickers. I told him it was not a good idea, but Mary had worked her magic. I could hear Jack saying, "more stickers please Ya-Ya!" By the time they were done he was literally covered head to toe in stickers. It was cute and funny, until he decided he wanted them to come off. Teh first twenty or something was no big deal, but it slowly became more painful. And here we are almost 48 hours early and he still has about 30 stickers on his head and face. Maybe tomorrow they will finally come off. The best part was all day if he would do something wrong, I would peel a sticker off his face. Somehow it seemed better that yelling or smacking his face, but it always stopped the negative behavior.

On the bright side, next week has to be better for poor middle child!

We are Finally Unpacked!

We have been home for over a week now, and I am finally done unpacking. We spent 3 days in Ann Arbor, Michigan for Greg's brother, Jason's graduation from Michigan. We came home for two days before we left again for Minnesota for a week. That week was capped off my MaryAlice's graduation from the College of Saint Benedict. It was a great few weeks, and while I would love to write all about it, but I fear that may never happen, so here are some of the highlights of the trips I can remember.

MICHIGAN
1. Greg's brothers, Chris and Jason, are twins. Mary LOVES twins, as two of her best friends at school are twins. She cannot belive that twins can look different. Chris and Jason resemble each other, but are far from identical. However, for three straight days Mary could not get the two of them straight. Up until we left she was calling Jason "Uncle Chris" and Chris "Uncle Jason." Could make for an interesting psycology experiment.

2. Pizza with the entire family after Jason's graduation. So much fun! The best part was Jack was not his usual self, meaning he was friendly and playful with his family, even though he doesn't see them often.

3. Watching movies with Uncle Jason at the hotel. Jack teaching Uncle Jason how to operate the IPad afterwards.

4. Getting a great view of the "Big House." Even though we are NOT Michgan fans! Goooo IRISH!

MINNESOTA

1. Mary trying to tell a completly inappropriate story about Aunt Liz at lunch after MaryAlice's pinning.

2. Going out on the boat, and seeing Mary catch her first fish (or guppy). Thanks Ben!

3. Nickelodeonland at Mall of America.

4. Seeing the kdis interact and play with their cousin Timmy, who is Jacks age.

Hope I will have more time to go into detail. But overall we all had a GREAT time.

Jack Takes a Stand at the Dentist

Old Jack is really something else! He isn't what you would call a friendly kid. He likes routine, he likes who he knows, and is not all that nuts about meeting new people. I used to HATE taking Jack home to Texas, because he didn't really warm up to my family until we were almost ready to leave...and they in turn never seemed to warm up to him. Mary was queen whenever we went home.

Now I realize it is just his personality. It's what makes him him. We are still trying to work on him coming out of his shell, but more than that we are realizing that he will most likely be a quieter kid, who tends to keep to himself.

Jack's personality was in perfect form this week as he went to his first dentist appointment. He loved the big screen tv showing "Madagascar" , and he was very appreciative of the room filled to the brim with toys. But as soon as they called him back, I could see the apprehension in his face, and I knew it was not going to be pretty. He and Mary were sitting cadddy corner from each other, and if Mary's eyes ever strayed from the TV a foot in front of her face, she could have easily seen Jack. Jack, on the other hand, was turned around in his seat watching Mary and telling her, "It's ok Ya-Ya, don't cry! It's ok Ya-Ya." Mary had finally had enough with him interrupting her show, so she finally said, "OK- JACK! Now be quiet and let the lady clean your teeth!"

To make a long story short- Jack was gracious enough to let the hygienist count his teeth, and squirt some water in his mouth....cleaning his teeth was NOT going to happen. I tried laying on the chair and letting him sit on my lap- NOPE! The told me to just keep bringing him and eventually he would be ok. They don't know Jack (no pun inteneded). We better keep brushing, because Jack may not have a professional cleaning until he is an adult.

Mary Gets the Gameball!

Ok, as most of you know....Mary is not a very good softball player. It doesn't bother me.....much. She loves to talk about it. She loves her uniform. She is giddy with excitement over the cheers and the snacks, but as far as the actual games go, she could take it or leave it. As her coach, I spend the better part of most games hollering out to her something like, "Mary please watch the ball so you don't get hurt", "Mary please get out of the dirt", "Mary please play attention to the game!"

Up until last week, she would not practice at home, because to her softball was only something she did with her friends around. But for some reason last week she started having me pitch balls to her whenever we were outside playing, and her hitting has improved dramatically. Amazingly with mine and Greg's genes, Mary appears to be pretty fast, so as long as she makes contact with the ball, there is a pretty good chance she will get on base. Today she was the only girl on teh team to get three hits off the coach (you get three thrown piches, and then you move to the tee)

So today was our first "real" game. real meaning we had an umpire ( a 15 year old boy who was constantly checking his phone) and we kept score. As you can probably guess, we did not win (11-17), but Mary finally made an out. Here is how I imagine an announcer would have called her miraculous out-

And its a hit! A slow grounder to the second baseman. O'Riordan makes a clean stop and picks up the ball...but it appears she has no idea what to do with it. She moves towards first but stops....the runner is safe at first. But wait- the runner is making a break to second. The coach is screaming at O'Riordan to tag the runner. The baserunner seems to have forgotten where she is. She is stopped nearly five feet off of first base, but she is making NO attempt to make it to second. The A's coach (me) has finally gotten through to O'Riordan that she needs to go tag the runner. O'Riordan runs over and tags the runner...but wait she is tagging her with an empty glove. The coach is going beserk. Wait for it- there it is O'Riordan FINALLY realizes that she must tag the runner with the ball and she does. That runner is outta here!

After the game, I was talking with one of my assistants, and told her I simply had to give the gameball to Mary because of two reasons 1.She is one of a handful of girls who has not gotten a gameball yet, and 2. It is quite possible she will not make another out for the remainder of the season!

Mary was estatic. We went out for ice cream after the game to celebrate. And she is hoping to stretch the celebration into a trip to Chuck E Cheese tomorrow for lunch. Im not sure about lunch, but I sure was happy for her today, and more than a little proud as well!

Gracie Turns 18 months old

I took Grace to the doctor on Monday for her 18 month check-up. She is totally suffering from third child syndrome. She should have been in for a 15 month check-up, I never scheduled one. For Mary, I probably made the 15 month appointment before I left the hospital. Jack made it there, I'm sure. But poor Gracie girl....an entire appointment missed.

Anyways...Gracie is 33.5 inches (90th percentile), 27 lbs (95th percentile), and her head is HUGE- over the 100th percentile, so at least we know she belongs to us. She was a trooper when she got her shots, she took it better than Mary did. Mary was upset that Gracie was getting shots. The doctor could not hear her heart murmur anymore, which is great news! I came home and thought about updating her book, but there were too many blank pages before it, so I just left it blank.

I went ahead and made her 2 yr appointment- or I would have probably forgotten about it.

"Mom, I Love you More than Pixie Hollow!"

My cheapness has backfired. Thanks to facebook I get constant updates on sales and specials going on everywhere. Last week I got a message about a code for a free picture of your child sleeping and you got to photoshop what was supposed to be the tooth fairy. Mary has NO loose teeth, but I figured I would make the picture, why not, it was free. Then I would keep it on my hard drive and whip it out when she eventually looses a tooth.

Rewind to Christmas. Mary got a princess make-over at DisneyWorld and then had a fairy sprinkle her all over with pixie dust (aka glitter). It has been almost 5 months, and I still see glitter in her hair almost every day when I brush it. But, I digress.

So the morning after I made this great tooth fairy picture, I am brushing Mary's hair. I let her know I can still see the "pixie dust" in her hair. She then says, "I think the fairies visit me at night. I think they keep sprinkling pixie dust in my hair because they want me to be a fairy and go to Pixie Hollow with them." I idiotically chimed in, "Mary, I think you are right- as a matter of fact, the fairies sent me a email last night and they are visiting you at night." Then I showed her the picture- and it made her year. She could not have been more excited. She ran to her class telling everyone who would listen that fairies were visiting her while she slept. So since Monday she has been trying to stay up all night to talk to these fairies that I have convinced her are coming to visit her at night. During the day we email them and sometimes they email back.

Yesterday I realized this was going a little too far. Mary woke up every morning visably angry that she was still at home and not in Pixie Hollow as she had hoped to be. So tonight as she was preparing for bed, she asked if I could check my email to see if the fairies were coming. They hadn't come by last night, due to an inordinate amount of rain in the hollow. Then I broke the news to her that they fairires were not allowed to take her to Pixie Hollow because she was NOT a fairy, and the head fairy, who may or may not be Tinkerbell??, forbade it. She immediately broke down. Crying, or should I say wailing on and on about how she REALLY wants to be a fairy. She wrote the fairies a note, and drew them pictures hoping it might change their mind.

From a very young age, I have though Mary to be of above average intelligence.....maybe I have been wrong. Hope this episode ends soon!

Greg and I told her that we were sorry she was upset but happy she was staying with us. She didnt care much. But the last thing she said to me before she went to sleep was , "Mom, I love you more than Pixie Hollow!"