Other Things I can't Post on Facebook

Here are some of the things that really bother me. Feel like I need to vent.

1. Teachers- most of you DO NOT deserve a raise! SO STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT IT! A teaching degree is easy to get, I know because I have one. You work less than 200 days a year. A large percentage of your cohorts are lazy and frankly not very good at what they do. Your job is important, I hope you do it well. But the truth is most of you do not. If you were evaluated on performance many of you would be fired. When the US starts pumping out educated, competitive students I will support your incessant cries for a raise!

2. The ability to procreate in large numbers is not a talent. If you had six kids at a time, its probably because you aren't making good decisions to begin with. I wish I had as much time to myself as Kate Gosselin.

3. When you tell me to "have a blessed day" it makes me want to punch you in the face! You are probably the same annoying indivisulas who think of those ridiculous messages on your churchs billboards like, "The Bible was the origianl text message!" Really?!?

4. I hope I am never a single mom. I imagine it is very difficult. I am not a single mom, but I still have my kids for all but maybe 1-2 of their waking hours. My husband is out of town all the time. And I have my kids EVERY weekend! You lot in life is hard-but shut up and deal with it, or if your kids are such a burden- turn them over to someone who wants them!

5.Gals- no one wants to hear about how you are trying to get pregnant. Some things are not meant to be shared. I don't care how often you ovulate, or what birth control method you have used in the past, or when your last period was. Tell me when you get pregnant and I will be genuinely happy for you, but until then-keep it to yourself!

Too Ashamed for a facebook post!

I, like most people, sometimes use facebook to brag about myself and my family. Yep, my kindergartner can read, MaryAlice just graduated from college, Gracie can eat your kid under the table, etc. I have embarked on something this week that I am too ashamed to post on facebook. I have finally started to try and potty train Jack...and yes he is 3.5 years old.

I think in the beginning I used his lack of understandable speech as a way to postphone it. Or I just didn't think he was ready, or we were planning a trip, or Venus and Mars may not be perfectly alligned, whatever!

There were a few things that made me realize I needed to start thinking about it.
1. I was worried if I didn't Gracie might beat him to the punch~that could not have been good for the old self-esteem.
2. I would like him to be able to go to pre-school someday.
3. He will be four in February.
4. He started announcing when he was going to poop...so he must be ready.
5. Got sick of reading of "friends" boasting on fb about how their kids are potty trained so early they simply can't find undies small enough. (Or is this just how I perceived it??)


The main thing stopping me- POTTY TRAINING IS MY MOST DREADED THING ABOUT PARENTING (thus far!) I HATE IT! I ended up stopping with Mary after the first few tries because I would just get too upset. So I basically waited until she potty trained herself. Unfortunatly, I could see Jack as an eight year old with really big diapers. SO we started Saturday. I am on day 4 today and I feel like I am on YEAR 4! We are prisoners in our own home. The days drag on as I look for signs that he is about to have an accident. I'm tired of reading what the experts say. I'm tired of talking to other parents about it. I'm tired of smelling poop. I am ready to call it quits! But alas, some progress has been made. It is just after noon on Tuesday and so far we are accident free. SO I guess I will see it through, as long as I don't have a break-down first.

Things I Never Knew About Jack

As Mary, Jack and Gracie's mom, I take pride in the fact that I know evrything about them. I know their likes and dislikes, what they will and won't eat, I can usually tell when they aren't feeling well, etc. Well, in the past two weeks I have learned two things about my blue eyed boy that totally schocked me!

#1 Jack needed glasses.

He never ran into things or fell over things. I didn't think he sat unusually close to the tv. But after two tries we were able to have a doctor examine his eyes, and lo and behold he is near-sighted. We got him glasses. Today was day 3 in glasses, and our second trip back to Walmart to have them re-adjusted. It was also on this trip that we invested in a strap to keep his glasses on. Sorry Jack!

#2 Jack is a "basket dipper"

You might be wondering-what the *&% is a "basket dipper?" I was wondering the same thing when Mary hurled the accusation at Jack this morning while the were both painting. The conversation went something like this...

Mary: "Jack, stop putting dirty brushes in your paint...clean it off in the water cup!"
Jack: "YaYa- worry about yourself!"
Mary: "Jack- you're a basket dipper!"
Me: "Mary what did you just say- what did you call Jack"
Mary: "My good feelings are in a basket and Jack is dipping into my basket and taking some of the good feelings out....I am a basket-filler- I try to fill people with good feelings!"

My son Jack - The four-eyed basket-dipper!

Mary's 1st week of school highlights.

Mary has officially made it through her first week of Kindergarten. There were tears in her eyes the first day but now she loves it, and only complains a little bit in the morning when I have to wake her up. Here are some highlights from her first week.

*Gracie and Lily are in her class again.
*Everyone in the class wants to be her friend. Everyone except for one girl. I asked Mary what this one girls name was and she said, "I don't know, and I don't even want to know." I asked her why she didn't like Mary , to which Mary responded, "Obviously, its because I'm so much prettier than her."
*Mary got a token taken away for not listening. Mary was adamant that she should NOT have lost a token for not listening. "Because I was talking to my friends so I didn't even hear Mrs. Dawn tell me to stop talking....so its not that I wasn't listening, I should have lost a token for talking!" DUH!
* Assie went to eat lunch with her on Friday.
* Mary was the only one who remembered Friday was show and tell day. She wowed the class by taking a volume of her animal encycopedia for show and tell....apparently everyone was very impressed!

Mary is growing up too FAST!

So last Thursday Mary had her first day of Kindergarten. She loved it, or as she put it when she bee-bopped into the car, "Mom, I had a blast!" Everyone wanted to be her friend, and she even has a new boyfriend who kissed her on the playground, although she cannot remember his name. We also found out that her two best friends, Gracie and Lily, will be in her class this year. The three of them have been in pre-school together for the last 3 yrs, so I am glad they will still be together!

Then today, Mary lost her first tooth. It almost made me cry! I remember coming across a tooth fairy pillow a while back and being tempted to get it. I talked myself out of it because I thought we were a long way from missing teeth. She looks so cute and so old with her bottom left tooth missing. And I am afraid she is going to be disappointed, as she is expecting the tooth fairy to bring her "one hundred thousand dollars!" Hopefully the 5 Sacaqawea dollars will be good enough.

I want her to stop growing up! I feel as though if we keep on at this rate, we will be shopping for training bras by Christmas!

My Mary is a Kindergartener!

I cannot believe it...Mary is starting Kindergarten tomorrow! I am happy, nervous, excited, anxious, and like Mary said last week, "thinking of Kindergarten makes my tummy hurt."

I am happy because I think she will love it. I often wonder if I should have started her last year, like many people suggested. But now, I wish she could stay home iwth me forever! She will love the social aspect of it, and I am sure she will make lots of friends. But I am nervous because she is so friendly, and loving, and a lot of kids her age are turned off by her gregariousness.

It helps to remember my Kindergarten days, and how much I loved it! I had the best Kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Sneed. Great friends, like Melissa and Renee that I am still lucky enough to consider great friends today.

I hope against hope that she gets a young, understanding teacher with lots of patience and fantastic sense of humor. We will miss you Mary and look forward to 1:50 everyday!

Straight from Mary's Mouth

Mary: Were you happy that you had a girl first?
Me: Of course, but you know we thought you would be named Gracie for a long time.
Mary: WHy did you name me Mary?
Me: After my mom died, I wanted to name you after her, so we named you after her,and your other Grandma, and Aunt Assie.
PAUSE
Mary: Oh I thought you took one look at me and said, "She is much too beautiful to be a Gracie...we shall call her Mary!"

Guess we don't have to work on boosting her self-esteem!